Life Update:
I live in Arizona now! I’m living with my Aunt and Uncle, who flew up to Seattle to help me drive my trusty Toyota Corolla from Seattle to Phoenix. My Toyota has now driven me along the Pacific Coast, through redwood forests, down through the farms of central California, past the periphery of Los Angles, and through the desert to get me to Mesa, Arizona.
A lot of uncertainty went into the decision to take a position in Phoenix: the pay isn’t as great, learning a new hospital culture is exhausting, the only position I could find was nights, and even though I’ve known my Aunt and Uncle my entire life, I only see them periodically since we live so far away. I honestly agonized over picking up the phone and asking someone who is generally on the periphery of my life, “Think you’d let me live with you? And think you’d help me drive a 24-hour road trip to make it happen?” And also—do I really want to start over again?
I’ve been here over three weeks now, and so far, it has been all sunshine and desert flowers. I love living here, reconnecting with family and getting to know them in new ways. I hadn’t seen my Grandma in probably twelve years, and now I see her at least once a week! I’ve been hiking, going on long bike rides with my Uncle, and sitting outside in the sunshine by their pool to read. So far, pretty great.
Just Your Average Musings on the Human Condition
One of my goals for travel nursing was to take myself out of my normal environment and figure out what was left. Who am I without the life that has been built around me? What parts of me are a product of my environment, and what parts of me are, well, me? Which brings me to tiny houses, nursing tools, and soccer shoes (bear with me).
Tiny Houses (How Does My Home Environment Affect Me)
We’ve been watching Tiny House Nation in the evenings. I love the idea of tiny homes (typically less than 400 square feet) because they are all about prioritizing. The people in the show are faced with decisions about what things have to stay, what things are just taking up space, and who they love and how that translates into what they need from their homes. Since I’ve lived in 6 houses in the last 12 months, I am all on board that the space I live in matters.
Nursing Tools (How Does My Work & Work Culture Affect Me)
The hospital I am working at now seems to use every tool in the trade. We are given acronyms, and sometimes scripting, to help with every situation: AIDET, Braden, BMAT, HEART, SBAR, CUS, LIFE, RACE, PASS, PDSA, Team STEPP, JHFRAT, etc, etc. This hospital has a robust policy manual, numerous clinical protocols, and the latest and greatest of clinical technologies. It all blurs together. These tools are helpful (especially the clinical ones) because they can provide measurable, safe ways to provide quality care! Tools help us be better.
But at some point, I have to figure out how to incorporate these tools in a meaningful way. Just like a house doesn’t exist for the sake of itself, nursing tools don’t exist just so we have more tools. What is the bottom line? For me, it is my promise to promote health and healing to my patients and the community at large. Since I believe health is a physical, emotional, spiritual, and social experience, I have to approach the ways I use tools with this in mind. Sometimes it’s not worth over-thinking—empathizing well and being kind goes a long way in promoting health.
Soccer Shoes (How Do My Things Affect Me)
Last week as I was sitting at a computer completing online modules (including modules teaching the nursing tools referenced above) I keep thinking of this soccer saying: The shoe doesn’t make the player. Soccer shoes come in all kinds of variety: narrow, wide, as well as numerous materials and colors. When my young self would agonize about what soccer shoe to purchase, I was inevitably reminded: The shoe doesn’t make the player. Technique, practice, positioning, field awareness, foot skills, etc. make the player. However, the shoes do matter in some pretty obvious ways, like if they fit or not, or if they cause blisters. The shoe doesn’t make the player, but, you do need them to play.
Back to the Human Condition
So how does this all relate? Well, I’m out here in the Southwest of the United States trying to figure out who I am when you take me out of my environment. But, it’s not that simple, right? Perhaps this is just one more continuum, and there is no exact point when I end and my environment starts. I am always affecting my environment, and vice versa.
So, what does that mean? Maybe it means I have to put effort into making my home a home. I affect my home and my home affects me. It means using nursing tools that are helpful (safe, time-efficient, effective, on mission) and prioritizing less the ones that aren’t. After all, the tools I use affect my nursing practice, just like my nursing practice affects the ways I use the tools. It means that my old soccer shoes are enough and the question of ability rests on me. It means life isn’t about money and having pretty things, but it’s not entirely not about that either.
So how do you figure out what to prioritize, what is enough, and what is merely noise? Who knows! Maybe it helps to have a general mission for life and work and creating structures in life that fit in that mission. But really, mostly it’s been a big messy game of guess & check, and some invaluable lessons on how different environments affect me. I’m simply very thankful for all those who have been there for me as I’ve guessed along.
Enough of that! Here are some pictures:
Featuring… desert plants!
Featuring… hiking! Hopefully, more to come!
Pittsburgh (plane)–> Seattle-(car)-> Pheonix road trip. We drove past Mt. St. Helens, along the Oregon coast, though some redwood forests, and through central California and eventually into Arizona. I was very thankful to have help driving!
Hope everyone is well! Take care!
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And a bonus poem if you made it this far ;).
Morning Coffee When my world implodes, Morning Coffee, Í’ll still wake up for you. For the science of the hour, Health food, sinister toxin, It doesn’t matter. If the economy fails, Should I win the lottery, No mind that I never play, We’ll pay it no mind. Listen, If he fails to love me, If a friend moves away, Wherever I go, East coast, west coast, If I live on my own, Or surrounded by those for whom My heart explodes, That will never change us, Morning Coffee. It is no small comfort, That life is but a Smattering of habits Which fill up the spaces Between all of which cannot be controlled. Even then, faithful life companion, I am content that You’ll always find me here, Somehow, Always, Morning Coffee.
Holly & Travel Nursing 